ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
