Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
