he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
