We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
