I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
