Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
