my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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