I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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