He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
