people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
