Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
