shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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