So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
