Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
