i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
