i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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