don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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