so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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