Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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