At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
