Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
