Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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