Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want a musical about memes.
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