Heybabeimwearingurpanties
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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