sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
