she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
