I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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