So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
