did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
