Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
