Whod you bang
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The uberlube is also flammable
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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