Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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