you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
