I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
