Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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