That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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