That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He better not be in your backpack
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
