Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
