After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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