Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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