i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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