Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
