He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
