Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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