i just google imaged poop.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
