Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i think i just lost a toe
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
