ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
