Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
