I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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