Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
